Friday, March 13, 2015

Movie Review: Creepozoids (1987)

Creepozoids (1987) - USA - Horror SciFi - Rated R
Directed by David DeCoteau
Starring Linnea Quigley, Ken Abraham, Michael Aranda, Richard Hawkins, Ashlyn Gere (as Kim McKamy), Joi Wilson

If the characters in this post-apocalyptic movie are mankind's only chance of survival...we are all doomed!

In the future, 1998 to be exact, after nuclear war has left the earth a devastated wasteland, war still goes on. A group of deserters seeking shelter from caustic acid rain break into an abandoned building. Inside they find food, beds, running water and electricity. Though they are seemingly setup for comforts they haven't seen in years, something is in there with them, something the builders of this complex didn't want to get out.

I have tried to distill the plot from the movie and the prelude provided in the opening credits, as they differ wildly. In the prelude the earth is a blackened husk with bands of mutant nomads and survivors seeking shelter from the acid rains. In the movie, the government is intact as is the communications network of satellite uplinks, and the band of survivors are actually deserters from an unspecified war.

The 5 deserters seeking to find shelter from the approaching acid rainstorm find an abandoned building. Up front they are cautious, but finding no immediate threats they find food, explore the working computer, and shower. It doesn't take long until one of them encounters a monster with huge tusks, but nothing seemingly happens to him until the next morning at breakfast in a scene obviously inspired by the chest-burster scene in Alien, but lacking any chest bursting.

The members of the group have a clue something might be wrong. I point this out as this group is pretty clueless. The monster is often referred to as intelligent by them, but I'm afraid a 5 year old could outsmart this group. Seriously, when cornered by the monster and holding a gun it makes more sense for them to scream until the monster gets them rather than use the gun.

I had hope for this movie as initially it starts off to be pretty interesting, and even has a geek element of an old 80s computer getting lots of screen time. Unfortunately it devolves, and after the midway point it devolves quickly, to the point you're rooting for the monster if for no other reason than to prevent the characters in this movie from ever breeding.

Despite having both Linnea Quigley and Ashlyn Gere in this movie, there is only one short shower scene. So don't get your hopes up with the highly misleading poster art, the sleaze just is not there.

My Rating: 2 Fingers. It's disappointing as it started off okay and looked promising having a shower scene with Linnea Quigley, but there could have been so much more and there wasn't.

No comments:

Post a Comment