Thursday, March 26, 2015

Movie Review: Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003) - USA - Action - Rated PG-13
Directed by McG
Starring Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz, Bernie Mac, Demi Moore, Crispin Glover, Matt LeBlanc, Shia LeBeouf, Robert Patrick, Luke Wilson, John Cleese, John Forsythe

Cartoons have better plots and physics than this overpriced waste of acting talent.

Three women collectively known as Angels are out to find two missing silver rings which have encrypted in them the identities of every person in the federal witness protection program. They are aided by a former Angel and trusted friend of one of them, but a dark secret may put the lives of all three of them in jeopardy.

I don't normally come out and just trash a movie, but this is simply wretched!

Take whatever series or characters from TV or the movies like The A-Team, The Three Stooges, or even The Road Runner and Coyote, and this movie makes them all seem overly realistic. The effects and action in this were probably inspired by the old Speed Racer cartoons, and then taken down several levels on the plausibility scale.

What hurts this movie even more is that the main characters are barely more than stand-ins to deliver lines during action sequences, and uninteresting at any other point in the movie. Ultimately it is a cluttered mess, 106 minutes of agonizingly bad music video production values (and I'm referring to the ones from the 80s) with no real payoff for having to sit through it.

My Rating: I give it a finger! I cringe at even writing a review for this movie it is so bad. How bad is this movie? I need to write more reviews and quick just to get the stench of this crap off the front page of my blog.

If you are truly a masochist and have no self-respect, you can get this on Blu-ray, DVD or Instant Video.

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