Movie Review: Skybound (2017)

Skybound (2017) - USA - Action/Disaster - Not Rated (14+)

Written and Directed by Alex Tavakoli

Starring Scarlett Byrne, Rick Cosnett, Gavin Stenhouse, Tyler Fayose, Carla Carolina Pimentel, Morten Suurballe, Jerry Coyle

An interesting premise with good direction and cast is riddled with clichés bringing it down like a jet plane out of fuel.

Five friends board a plane going from New York to California. What starts out as a joyride becomes terror as media outages and loss of contact with the ground leaves them to wonder what is happening below, and if they'll even be able to land.

It sounds interesting, and I don't doubt it could have been. With capable direction and a good cast it starts off promising. It's not long before "seen this...expected that" comes to the forefront of ones thoughts. You know you're in a nosedive to hell when you get the bravado rallying speech complete with musical accompaniment. I mean for Green Acres or Animal House this works because of the ridiculousness of it, but for something taking itself as serious it becomes its own self-parody.

Other elements in this with no bang for their buck include a love triangle which wilted the rose before it even had a chance, the most impotent bad guy I've seen in a movie of recent memory and a mixed bag of special effects from really good to video game quality, and I don't mean a good video game at that. And that is the film's problem in a nutshell is there was potential here too often ambushed by cheap one-offs.

From a standpoint of average fare for SyFy you could use to fill time, this would fit as it is entertaining enough for that. Perhaps I'm just being down on it as there was potential here to be more than that and it was brought down by screenwriting 101 checklisting: love triangle, check; bad guy, check; bravado speech, check; heroic sacrifice, check. To add to that the ending of this is truly "how the hell!?"

I would give standard SyFy time fillers 2 Fingers, but there are at least some better elements here such as the direction and a good cast.

My Rating: 2 Fingers Plus.

You can get Skybound on DVD or VOD from Amazon Video.

Movie Review: John Schneider's 4:GO (2017)

4:GO (2017) - USA (Louisiana) - Action Thriller - Not Rated (Mature)

Written & Directed by John Schneider

Starring Kerry Cahill, Dean Cain, Marcus Bagwell, Jason Kirkpatrick, Johnny Lee, Billy Slaughter, Eddie Love, Jody Mullins, Don Shanks, Harrison St. John, Mickey Gilley, John Schneider

Keeps the viewer on their toes between bouts of falling down laughing in a fast moving mix of action, horror and comedy.

Four murderers escape from a maximum security prison with a hostage in tow as they head for the woods. Misjudging their hostage is only the first sign of their bumbling, matched only by the ineptitude of the posse trying to catch them. But they're not alone in the woods on this Halloween, and they will wish they had stayed in solitary confinement.

John Schneider is time and again proving himself to not only be a diverse actor and director, but also one of the top writer/directors of black comedy. In a genre that is easy to do, but difficult to do well, he does it very well taking the dark and tragic and approaching it with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

4:GO takes no prisoners (bwhahahaha) in bursting out of the gate at full gallop and not letting up on the pace. It begins with a mystery teaser of just audio that sounds like a couple and their child having a play day then moving straight into its story. It may seem confusing at first compared to some of things going on, but that's intentional as John Schneider uses bits and pieces of mystery to up the tension. Additionally he makes good use of the briefest of interstices, being he also edited this, which flash here and there, and though they seem to confuse in actuality he has creatively spiked the pace of the film with them. And before you know it, an 88 minute movie is over and you're like "wow, that didn't seem that long."

There feels like an occasional stumble, but this as much can be because of keeping the audience guessing and with its expeditious pace it is easy to get out of sync at one point or another, plus some ambiguity, but it does fall into place anyway. For me there's a point where it feels morose, losing its humor, but that does not affect the structure of the film, just the mood, as the film continues to move along as before.

Kerry Cahill, Johnny Lee and Jason Kirkpatrick shine is this. Cahill brings character to her performance with choice dialogue and spot-on delivery. Jason Kirkpatrick has his character of Forest nailed down providing humor in every moment he occupies. Johnny Lee is simply fantastic just being in this movie as he is a character unto himself and that adds to the fun. Eddie Love is a great foil for Lee's character often delivering some of the funniest lines. Special mention goes to John Schneider.. er.. I mean Harrison St. John who not only reminds one of a young John Schneider but his character is named Bo; well played.

The movie itself invokes that classic 70s revenge film motif as Schneider injects lots of humor, action, and bits of mystery. 4:GO is a fun movie to watch that has energy and abounds in laughs, and yes gruesome at times, but not too much. Though I watched it solo I'm betting this would be even more fun with several friends over for a movie night. Too bad my local drive-in has closed because this would be perfect for a fun night at the drive-in.

My Rating: 4 Fingers


You can rent or buy 4:GO on Vimeo

Get John Schneider music, movies and merchandise on his Official Website

Movie Review: Treasure of the Moon Goddess (1987)

Treasure of the Moon Goddess (1987) - USA/Mexico - Action/Adventure - R

Directed by José Luis García Agraz

Starring Don Calfa, Linnea Quigley, Asher Brauner, Joann Ayers, Danny Addis, Enrique Lucero, Eric Weston

A mostly entertaining and at times funny low budget Indiana Jones-esque movie that could have been better.

Lu looks to her manager Harold to get her singing career off to a good start. Harold, though, doesn't seem to understand the word 'good', or have much business sense as a manager and has her performing in cantinas in Central America that make dives seem upscale by comparison. A small time crime boss and modern pirates have an unusual interest in Lu as they try to kidnap her. Teaming up with a boat owner and his girlfriend they run from and/or dodge various dangers and adversaries in the jungle.

Of course the poster art for this movie is misleading. Any Indiana Jones clone outside of the actually Indiana Jones movies does not come anywhere close to the poster art. I have seen several clones in an attempt to find something else close to as entertaining as Indiana Jones, and this is one of the better attempts, and that's still not saying a lot.

There are several problems with the film which take it down a notch or two, and right up front is the fact that here is an R-rated movie with Linnea Quigley and Joann Ayers running around the jungle in tank tops or skimpier clothes and not one of them even loses their top; calling this R-rated is ridiculous. The editing is choppy in places and fight choreography is near non-existent. And yes, the plot is incredibly silly.

Those problems aside, the movie does work. It doesn't take itself seriously. Don Calfa as Harold also is the narrator of the story, which I can only presume exists as a way to tie up loose ends in continuity and for filler. Don Calfa is the primary source of comedy in the movie, though Linnea Quigley does her fair share of adding to it. If editing had been tighter, and some other sloppiness cleaned up, this could have been pretty good, but as it is, it is just mediocre but still entertaining so long as you keep in mind that it is a low budget Indiana Jones knockoff and don't expect too much.

My Rating: 3 Fingers

This movie is only available on VHS though I did find it on YouTube. Keep in mind that being it is only available on VHS means that any online copies you find to download were ripped from a VHS copy and are not going to look very good on anything bigger than a laptop screen.

Toxic Fletch

Movie Review: Fast & Furious 5 (Fast Five) (2011)

Fast & Furious 5 (2011) - USA - Action - Rated PG-13

A.K.A. Fast Five

Directed by Justin Lin

Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris Ludacris Bridges, Gal Gadot, Sung Kang, Elsa Pataky

An upgrade to the usual unseemly goals of the characters of the previous movies is actually entertaining despite largely being a live-action cartoon.

An ex-cop and ex-con (that last part is debatable) on the run and evading the authorities end up in Rio de Janeiro where they not only run into a businessman/politician/drug dealer who is actually worse than them (I know...unbelievable), but they have a federal agent on their collective tails. They organize a heist (after all, the guy they are hitting is a major sleaze bucket) and call in the gang to assist, but not only are they facing off against greater odds and a near impossible task, but the feds are upping the heat.

I'll put it up front, I hated the first movie. Who the hell roots for highway bandits and a corrupt cop and sneers at people defending themselves from them? Well Fast Five takes it in a different direction, sort of, as this time around the gang is not so bad compared to the people they are going up against. Yes, it's a matter of apples and oranges, but not so difficult to figure out who the badder bad guys are as compared to Freddy vs Jason for example.

Fast Five is like a blend of the TV show Leverage and the previous Fast and Furious movies. The cars are still there, just not as prevalent and certainly not the main focus of the story this time. In this case it is a group of ex-cons, cons and assorted criminals taking on an even badder guy, but unlike Leverage they are the sole beneficiaries of their deeds.

Dwayne Johnson helps this movie out quite a bit as both his physical presence and determination of his character add an edge to the threats the characters face. It seems as though I can't help but comment on what a fine performance Ludacris gives in everything I see him in, and this is no exception as he really is an excellent actor. Some of the actors in this are just on vacation, some are brooding, but there are no bad performances here and several good ones including the aforementioned.

Fast Five is an over-priced live action video game filled with the same fantasy physics as a video game, but there is no pause button and that's probably what works best for it as it keeps up the pace and keeps the viewer in the story without taking any abrupt detours. It is ultimately entertaining at the least even if it is still stuck in its cartoon world of machismo.

My Rating: 3 Fingers

Get Fast Five on DVD, Blu-ray or Instant Video

Movie Review: Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003) - USA - Action - Rated PG-13

Directed by McG

Starring Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz, Bernie Mac, Demi Moore, Crispin Glover, Matt LeBlanc, Shia LeBeouf, Robert Patrick, Luke Wilson, John Cleese, John Forsythe

Cartoons have better plots and physics than this overpriced waste of acting talent.

Three women collectively known as Angels are out to find two missing silver rings which have encrypted in them the identities of every person in the federal witness protection program. They are aided by a former Angel and trusted friend of one of them, but a dark secret may put the lives of all three of them in jeopardy.

I don't normally come out and just trash a movie, but this is simply wretched!

Take whatever series or characters from TV or the movies like The A-Team, The Three Stooges, or even The Road Runner and Coyote, and this movie makes them all seem overly realistic. The effects and action in this were probably inspired by the old Speed Racer cartoons, and then taken down several levels on the plausibility scale.

What hurts this movie even more is that the main characters are barely more than stand-ins to deliver lines during action sequences, and uninteresting at any other point in the movie. Ultimately it is a cluttered mess, 106 minutes of agonizingly bad music video production values (and I'm referring to the ones from the 80s) with no real payoff for having to sit through it.

My Rating: I give it a finger! I cringe at even writing a review for this movie it is so bad. How bad is this movie? I need to write more reviews and quick just to get the stench of this crap off the front page of my blog.

If you are truly a masochist and have no self-respect, you can get this on Blu-ray, DVD or Instant Video.

Movie Review: 48 Hrs. (1982)

48 Hours (1982) - USA -  Action Comedy - Rated R

Directed by Walter Hill

Starring Nick Nolte, Eddie Murphy, Annette O'Toole, James Remar, Frank McRae, David Patrick Kelly, Sonny Landham, Brion James, Jonathan Banks, Denise Crosby, Margot Rose

A gritty blend of action and comedy that despite a weak story is raised several levels by the performances of Nolte and Murphy to make for an entertaining movie.

A convict stages an escape while on work camp detail and subsequently shoots two cops in a hotel with another cop's gun. That cop is now trying to find the killer and his partner with the help of an inmate who has been released to his custody for 48 hours. Conflicts, shoot-outs and comedy ensue as the two pursue the pair of killers and the trail of bodies they leave along the way.

48 Hours is a big screen movie that is loud and raucous. Nolte paved his way in movies to come with his portrayal of a tough talking and tough drinking cop while Eddie Murphy did the same showing that he has the chops, both dramatic and comedic, to adapt to any situation. The mix works well as though they are seemingly worlds apart they are not that different in their capabilities as actors.

The weakest part of the movie is the story itself. There really is no mystery here or in depth police procedural. In lesser hands than Nolte and Murphy this could have sputtered, but that's also a credit to its strength and what makes it what it was when it was released and what it is today, and that is Nolte and Murphy are the movie and their chemistry together hits the right notes that inspired many buddy cop movies to follow.

My Rating: 4 Fingers. I was tempted to give it 3 fingers because other than Nolte and Murphy's chemistry in this there is not much to talk about, but it is rewatchable, eminently entertaining, and the two main performances lift it above its less than stellar story.

Get 48 Hours on Blu-ray, DVD or Instant Video

Movie Review: The Rock (1996)

The Rock (1996) - USA - Action - Rated R

Directed by Michael Bay

Starring Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris, John Spencer, David Morse, William Forsythe, Michael Biehn, Vanessa Marcil, John C. McGinley, Tony Todd

An adrenaline pumped adventure flick fueled with one-liners and over-the-top action is a lot of fun even if it was directed by the forgettable Michael Bay.

A group of renegade soldiers and mercenaries steal a deadly VX toxin with a mass delivery system then take over Alcatraz Island and hold the tourists hostage. The leader of this group is a marine general who has become disillusioned with the government's failure to pay benefits to families of soldiers killed in covert ops and he is threatening to launch warheads filled with the toxin against San Francisco unless the governement meets his demands.

The government contacts a biochemist with the FBI who would be able to disable the warheads, but they need somebody who knows Alcatraz well enough to get inside. As it turns out, a man did escape from Alacatraz and has been kept in a different maximum security prison since. They need him to break back into Alcatraz, even if what they offer for exchange is a lie.

The Rock, despite being over 2 hours long, does not take a moment to slow down from beginning to end. Of course there are personal moments in the film to build character development, but the movie still speeds along like a freight train out of control and does it well without derailing. It keeps tension going by having conflicts within each group, the good guys and the bad guys, with sometimes no easy way to determine exactly who is who as our protagonists have to deal with an underhanded governement agent and the antagonists have a redeemable mission, though soiled by their unforgivable terrorist plot which causes conflict among their own.

Michael Bay directs this, and despite his movies being like video games that are easily forgettable 5 minutes after they are done, The Rock does deliver and is a fun ride, even if it is forgettable about 15 minutes after it is seen. Seriously, the only thing that sticks with me about this movie is the line "Welcome to the Rock."

My Rating: 3 Fingers, which for a Michael Bay film is high for me.

Get The Rock on DVD, Blu-ray or Instant Video

Movie Review: Retroactive (1997)

Retroactive (1997) - USA - Sci-Fi - Rated R

Directed by Louis Morneau

Starring James Belushi, Kylie Travis, Shannon Whirry, Frank Whaley, Jesse Borrego, M. Emmet Walsh, Sherman Howard, Roger Clinton

High octane action combined with the twists of a sci-fi plot and one sexy, badass lady adds up to one fun and exciting ride of a movie.

Karen, a police psychologist taking time off after a hostage crisis gone bad, has a breakdown on a lonely Texas road and is picked up by a man and his wife. It doesn't take long for this man to go from being an obnoxious, sexist bigot to a full-blown psychopath as, due to an arguement, he murders his wife and tries to kill Karen, but she gets away by running into a secret complex in the desert which houses a scientist and a time machine he is working on. Karen ends up running into the time machine by accident as a test in under way and is sent back in time to to point she was originally picked up by the man and his wife. She has an opportunity to correct what has happened, but her interference may well make things worse.

Retroactive is a story about an all too common wish many of us have probably had, and that is if given the chance to correct a mistake or bad decision we made in the past, could we or would we?

At the core of this movie is two things: providing a reason to want to correct the past, and providing an antagonist who is so bad of a person that it gives even more reason to want to correct the past. Shannon Whirry gives an excellent performance as the abused and demure wife giving that reason to want to correct the past and James Belushi is super bad as Frank who deserves no better demise than to be put through a time machine and killed over and over again.

Central to the story is the character of Karen played by Kylie Travis. Dressed in a tight all black outfit, she is sexy, and her character is tough as nails who has no problem going toe to toe with a man which makes her even sexier.

The story builds as it introduces the characters, then takes off like a rocket. Car chases and shootouts are the order of the day as Karen goes through the time machine multiple times, each time with a different result and also giving the audience plenty of action as the story moves along with different twists, at breakneck speed, and you may even feel like ducking.

My Rating: 5 Fingers! I obsessed about whether to give it 4 or 5 fingers, but I have watched this movie several times and despite that it is never a drag.

Get Retroactive on DVD

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