Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Movie Review: Piranha 3D (2010)

Piranha 3D (2010) - USA - SciFi Horror Exploitation - Rated R
Directed by Alexandre Aja
Starring Elisabeth Shue, Steven R. McQueen, Jessica Szohr, Adam Scott, Kelly Brook, Riley Steele, Jerry O'Connell, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Richard Dreyfuss

An absolutely degrading piece of trash that has been called Girls Gone Wild with fish and I find that to be insulting to Girls Gone Wild videos.

Ancient piranha are released from an underwater lake by a tremor then eat people. I kid you not, this is all the plot there is to this movie.

Utter misogynistic pointless trash is all this movie is. I don't think it is possible to be any more misogynistic than to make a movie where women serve only two purposes: to show their tits or be fish food. Sure, Elisabeth Shue is in this as the chief of police, or something like that, but being a token gender rub in a piece of trash like this is nothing to be proud of; I mean talk about slumming! If the utter misogyny is not blatant enough; the scene where Jerry O'Connell's character, after watching a naked model torn to pieces by piranha before turning on him, sadly informs his now only friend as he lay dying that the fish got his penis...oh the tragedy! Yeah, women being eaten by fish is nothing compared to a man losing his penis (I'm being sarcastic).

And let's talk about Jerry O'Connell some more. I can only imagine the director before each take screaming "lights, camera, HISTRIONICS"! Jerry O'Connell's character only exists in one mode throughout the entire movie and this is as an overly-obnoxious, loud, sleazy salesman type. He cannot possibly die fast enough in this to satifisfy the audience and yet his character continues through the movie like someone who just won't stop running their fingernails down a chalkboard.

The only performance in this movie worthy of note is that of Jessica Szohr who also has one of the hottest kissing scenes in any movie. That's the only nugget of gold unfortunately buried beneath a huge steaming pile of...well, you get the picture.

My Rating: I give it a finger...held high!

If you are an utter masochist who takes pleasure in whipping yourself into pain, then you might want to check out this trash on Blu-ray, DVD or Instant Video

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