Movie Review: To All a Goodnight (1980)

In anticipation of having my other blog shut down because of Blogger saying they will now not allow adult blogs, specifically pictures and/or videos with graphic nudity (ambiguous as usual for Google I know), I am taking my reviews from The Sex and Blood Show and posting them here, minus the pics. This has been previously published by me, just edited for content so I can't be accused of using graphic, or overly graphic language.

To All a Goodnight (1980) - USA - Horror - Rated R

Directed by David Hess

Stars Jennifer Runyon, Judith Bridges, Forrest Swanson, Linda Gentile, Kiva Lawrence

A killer Santa is on the prowl at a girls' finishing school, but the danger Santa poses to the girls is nothing compared to the danger of the viewer falling asleep while watching this.

Two years ago at the Calvin Finishing School for Girls on a Christmas Eve a prank gone out of control causes one of the students to fall to her death. Two years later, the present, the current crop of girls are planning to spend Christmas break at the school with some boys who are flying in for this occasion. But it seems the boys are not the only new guests arriving as someone dressed in a Santa suit has already arrived as is ready to treat some naughty boys and girls to some killing that's not so nice.

It is difficult to fairly rate To All a Goodnight viewing it today rather than when it first came out. It seems littered with slasher movie conventions, yet it originally came out in 1980, before so many of those conventions became standard and is one of the movies that set those in stone. It does borrow from what came before, but what it did not borrow is something to keep any interest going.

Sitting down to watch this movie you had either have had a good night's sleep before this or something like toothpicks or tape to hold your eyes open. Though it starts off well enough, it soon lingers with seemingly nowhere to go but filling time to make it a full length movie. They could have cut the time in half and still kept every moment in the movie.

Although the killer in this movie becomes obvious at a certain point, I won't give any spoilers but someone is not present when the killings take place, I did not see an additional surprise ending coming and it did explain inconsistencies with the identity of the killer. Yes, ultimately it was hokey, like a lot of the 'baited' scripting in this movie, but it was a nice touch.

My Rating: 2 Fingers. What nudity there is in the movie is too little to have to sit through that much boredom. An additional note is that the framing on the new DVD release cuts from the top and bottom, so the scene in the bathroom with a naked Leia does not show her below the waist as it does on the old VHS copy.

Get To All a Goodnight on DVD or Blu-ray

Movie Review: The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

The Return of the Living Dead (1985) - USA - Horror Comedy - Rated R

Directed by Dan O'Bannon

Stars Clu Gulager, James Karen, Thom Mathews, Beverly Randolph, Don Calfa, Linnea Quigley, Miguel A. Núñez Jr., Brian Peck, John Philbin, Jewel Shepard, Mark Venturini

The zombie horror comedy that dares to ask "Do you want to party" and the answer is a resounding "Yes!"

Preparing for the July the 4th weekend, two employees of a medical supply warehouse located next to a cemetery are finishing up for the day when they accidentally release a chemical that brings the dead back to life while a group of punk rockers are hanging out in the cemetery waiting for their friend to get off work at the warehouse. From half-dogs and cadavers in the warehouse to the dead in their grave in the cemetery, everything that was dead comes to life in search of brains. Things will be rocking in the graveyard tonight.

Picking up from the Living Dead franchise of films starting with a John Russo story, Dan O'Bannon takes it in a different direction. Not wanting to intrude on Romero's work, he instead aims for the jugular with a black comedy which treats the original Night of the Living Dead as a movie, but based on an actual incident covered up by the U.S. military. That incident accidentally leads to this particular night.

The Return of the Living Dead is a smart and funny movie. Not everything is treated for laughs as the characters have a seriousness to them about their situation. Where the humor comes from is in dealing with unusual situations such as trying to remove a zombie's head and finding that doesn't kill it, taking vitals on someone exposed to the chemical and finding their body temperature is room temperature, among others. And yes, there are some intentionally comical moments such as a zombie getting on the paramedics' radio after munching on them and requesting more paramedics.

Where The Return of the Living Dead took a u-turn at the usual horror movie formula of slowly developing a story, probably for lack of a story in many, and dragging it along until something eventually happens was by jumping straight into the developing story. It takes several minutes before we even see a title and screen credits as the movie introduces likable characters in two different scenes, then introduces the situation, the releasing of the chemical, that will propel the movie forward. It does not take a moment for a breather as the story is fun, the editing is tight, and it is filled with a soundtrack of its own theme music infused with punk rock that keeps up the tempo and is fun in its own right.

Oh, and in case I forgot to mention it, Linnea Quigley is naked throughout most of the movie. This is not a complaint. I repeat, this is not a complaint! ;)

My Rating: 5 Fingers! A fun and funny movie from beginning to end. Not only did it inspire several sequels in its own right, it also inspired many movies yet to come and has earned its place as a classic.

Get The Return of the Living Dead on Blu-ray, DVD or Instant Video

Movie Review: Savage Island (1985)

In anticipation of having my other blog shut down because of Blogger saying they will now not allow adult blogs, specifically pictures and/or videos with graphic nudity (ambiguous as usual for Google I know), I am taking my reviews from The Sex and Blood Show and posting them here, minus the pics. This has been previously published by me, just edited for content so I can't be accused of using graphic, or overly graphic language.

Savage Island (1985) - Italy - Exploitation/Women in Prison - Rated R

Directed by Nicholas Beardsley

Stars Anthony Steffen, Ajita Wilson, Christina Lai, Linda Blair, Leon Askin, Cintia Lodetti, Penn Jillette

Not the most coherent or even best of stories but it delivers what any good women in prison movie should...lots of sweaty naked women.

A sexy woman enters into a highrise office complex for a meeting with a sleazy business tycoon. But this meeting is far from cordial and a surprise as he finds himself at gunpoint listening to her tell him a story of women who have been forced to work in a South American labor camp mining emeralds for a wealthy American tycoon; that would be him. But the prisoners of the labor camp along with a group of mercenaries hatch a plan of escape and of revenge against the sadistic and rapist guards. 

Savage Island is not an original film, and I'm not meaning in its plot, but then it's not original in that either. It actually is a re-edited film taken from two Italian-Spanish films originally shot back-to-back with most of the same cast, Hotel Paradise and Escape from Hell (both 1980), with additional new footage shot as a wrap-around and stars Linda Blair and Leon Askin. Of the two original movies, Escape from Hell is the better film from a sleaze perspective, and not the least of which it has a more coherent story. 

Savage Island merges the storylines from both movies into a shorter running time than either film. The downside is that the movie is choppy in places both because of the editing and because they are combining two movies in which some of the actors are different. On the upside, Savage Island has an abundance of nudity as it is taken from both of its parent films. 

If sweaty naked women running around, showering in the open, ripping their clothes off and fighting among each other is not your cup of tea...then what the hell is wrong with you? Savage Island is pure sleaze aimed at slobbering males. It gives what men want in a women in prison movie without taking up too much time with a silly little thing called plot and story; and if you are looking for plot and story in a women in prison movie you are looking in the wrong sub-genre. 

One major downside though is Savage Island was only put out on VHS and what DVD distributions of it that exist are from those VHS masters, or Betamax masters, so the quality is pretty low. Escape from Hell is the better alternative of the two original parent films, but both are available on DVD. 

My Rating: 3 Fingers. This barely deserves more than 2 fingers but being full of sweaty naked women more than makes up for what it is lacking elsewhere. 

Get Savage Island on DVD

Get Women in Prison Triple Feature DVD with Escape from Hell

Movie Review: Hide and Go Shriek (1988)

Hide and Go Shriek (1988) - USA - Horror - Rated R

Directed by Skip Schoolnik

Starring Bunky Jones, Brittain Frye, Annette Sinclair, Sean Kanan, George Thomas, Donna Baltron

Not only is the dark a good place to have a private party, it is also a good place to fall asleep watching this dull movie.

John's father owns a large furniture store and being closed at night it provides the perfect place for John and 7 teenage friends to have a party, and for their own private place for some love making. But it also provides the perfect place for a deranged madman to hide out, and they have provided plenty of victims for him.

Hide and Go Shriek missed the classic slasher movie cycle by a few years, but who says you can't resurrect an already overdone premise of a killer stalking teenagers? The timeworn premise though is only part of the problem this movie has. Yes, it is dull as it just sets up another group of boring teenagers for the slaughter, but its even bigger problem is, other than the beginning and end of the movie, it takes place entirely in the dark; I kid you not.

They follow the premise of the kids staying the night in the furniture store without anybody's knowledge, and so the lights are kept off. Not only are things truly lowlight in this but at times things fade to black. In a theater this might not have been as much of a problem but when transferring film to video, for its time, lowlight scenes get worse.

There's not much original here other than the killer to some degree. There are four pairs of teenagers who are ultimately going to make out; nobody is surprised by this. There is the weird guy who is a red herring to make you think he might be the killer. And of course there is the boring build up of events so common with slasher movies. But the one thing it is lacking is the final killing spree. Perhaps they wanted to be more original, but in hindsight if you are going to copy everything else then go with a more action-packed killing spree rather than ending with a thud.

The one thing going for this movie is a decent amount of nudity. There is also a really well done decapitation scene. But unfortunately the rest of it is fast-forward territory unless you need a cure for insomnia, and don't mind the potential headache from watching a movie with so little light.

My Rating: 2 Fingers

There is a DVD available somewhere, but it is hard to find. You can get it on VHS.